Strawberry disaster-cake

Ok, so the great unveiling of the great dessert of June 2011 is going to be a letdown. In short, it was pretty much the worst strawberry shortcake I ever had. The strawberries were far from sweet and the "cake" was more like a biscuit or a scone - hard and dry. Looks like I will need to be more picky next time (by the next day I had already decided on chocolate cheesecake for next month).

But it was such a letdown, I was not sure about keeping up my progress. That night, I had some spaghetti with butter and Parmesan - not exactly a low-carb choice. Now what I noticed most about the "cheat" was that I still ate less pasta than before I started cutting carbs. One cup was more than I should have had, but not as much as I once would have - probably three times as much. Unfortunately, I made a few other bad choices, like popcorn and Coke and the movies. Twice. Again, I did not seem to eat as much as normal, and what would have once been nowhere-near-enough was now plenty to feel satisfied (and not too guilty for cheating).

Now that I was eating better and feeling good, I had to keep it up. 8 pounds was not enough - this has to become a lifestyle choice. So I made more kale salad, roasted broccoli and declared myself back on track. This is going to take continued effort, I can see..

I want a Pepsi!!!!

Bad cravings! down!

When did I decide to allow myself one strawberry shortcake? Right after I saw the sign "Strawberry Shortcake Festival June 26th". That's when..

THEN I told my doctor. She said it was a great idea, and it was settled. Every month (or maybe every two weeks, or three), I will set a goal and decide on something delicious. Do I already know what I am going to eat next dessert? Yes, why yes I do. Going to find a delectable chocolate cheesecake somewhere and plan it well in advance.

Somehow, the idea that I am waiting, or "saving up" my carbs has allowed me to say no to many a lemonade or cookie. Mostly, I have learned that the 'ordinary' sugars just aren't that exciting if you have to choose one per month. Why would I have a McDonald's milkshake, for instance, when I could have a chocolate eclair from a real French bakery? One must be more creative if you only get one.. which means you can easily pass by that bowl of candy at reception or the free sodas at work.

The only real temptation has been a homemade fudge brownie, with a layer of peanut butter and then a layer of chocolate on top - the idea that I would never have another chance to have that particular delicacy. The KitKat, although it looks good, is something you can always have again, but the special items, those are the hardest.

Last night, I almost had a cookie. So I brushed my teeth. Can't eat after you brush your teeth! I noticed I really craved a Pepsi or Coke just a few minutes after dinner. It must be the blood-sugar level drops due to the insulin released after we eat (and the blood-sugar rises). The insulin causes a "crash" and we crave more.. the dreaded cycle. I got through the immediate desire, and now I am good again. Just want some water now. Whew!

Carb Cuttin

It's time. This time, for real. It's time to stop this suicide by food mission and get a grip. My doctor asked me to give up sugar. Not just cookies and fudge - no - all forms of sugar. Bread, pasta, grains - you name it. Don't remember how long before it was not enough to keep me from that afternoon Pepsi, and before long, it was an all-out calorie fest.

7 months pass and she is sending me emails and suggesting we catch up. Uh. Yeah - that whole me-not-eating-sugar thing? Didn't work out. Sorry. But then she told me that she was addicted to sugar, too, and she just happened to be giving up carbs that very day.

Fine. I will try again - this time we'll do it. I really will roast vegetables and eat protein for breakfast and not eat anything with sugar. I can do this. I am strong. Send me recipes and I'll get to the grocery store and stock up on the right things and throw out all my lovely carbs. 2 weeks later and we meet again - she says I am doing better than she is! I wonder if that's true or if I am embellishing my story.

Haven't gone a day without a few pieces of fruit. Lesson one: never buy a huge watermelon which you will then have to cut up on a hot day for your loved ones while totally avoiding.. hah. NOT going to happen. A handful of grapes, blueberries - cleaned a whole 2 pints and only ate a dozen or so, some goldfish crackers, a half slice of honey wheat bread.. mmmm. Never went a day without "messing up" and still my sugar intake was cut down 80 or 90%.

Now, we are in it for the long haul. Sharing recipes, strategies, tricks, tips, whatever gets you through the day. She wanted me to write down my experiences, so I can look back. "You will forget" she says, "so write it down now, so that you can look back."

Ok, here goes. Haven't been under 195 lbs since I was 20, and I was in shape in college - at least as much as ever. Was at 211 prior to starting, then 208, then 211 again (week 1) and then 208 (week 2). Not looking for drastic change, here, just simple long-term patterns that create a major shift in quality of life - I hope.