Motivation

I still crave the sugar. And I give in all the time. Sometimes, it seems to "own" me less if I just eat it and move on - just try the cookie and then it will stop staring. Most of the time, it is not as good as I think it will be. Most of the time, my cravings and imaginings taste better in my mind than the actual food does once I just eat it. Now, I can walk down the candy aisle and not really get pulled by the magnetism of my former love. Chocolate? No problem. Don't need it. Andes mints? Can live without 'em. It's almost like I am too busy for eating, like I have to find time just to nourish myself, and when I do, it is just for actual food, not sugar and "cardboard" fluff like McDonald's hamburger buns.

Not to say that I am not eating things I shouldn't, but looking at the motivation behind it, there is less of a 'need' and more of an apathy.. Like, I don't need it, but I would LIKE it, and if nobody is watching.. what would it hurt? I notice that telling people that I am "quitting carbs" was enough to make it unthinkable to eat them in front of anyone. That makes it easier to avoid in the light of day, and then at night I sneak a cupcake or a pot of noodles.. What will it take for me to be motivated internally and not rely on others to avoid the junk? When will my own well-being be enough motivation?

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

A couple of movies have really hit home recently - thank you, Netflix. In particular, I just finished watching the movie, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead about extreme health issues caused by obesity and poor diet being completely cured through an all-juice fast (under doctor supervision). I am sold. It might actually be more carbs for me than usual - apples and other fruits are added for taste, and nutrition, but it may be worth it. After all, the health and energy increases for these guys was amazing - cholesterol, weight, diebetes/blood sugar, and the crazy health side effects like migraines all getting under control.

I have already seen Fast Food Nation and countless recent documentaries on food production and consumption - and have been convinced that food is where we (as a country and communities and individuals) need to focus. Both from a health/nutrition standpoint as well as an economic one - the oil it takes to produce and ship our food around the world is getting depleted, but I digress.

This show has pushed buttons for me - and I have a juicer on loan with a friend (Linda, who is holding the strawberry shortcake in the last post) and now I want it back. I was going to be fasting next month anyway (already doctor-approved), so this may be an opportunity to combine the efforts of fasting with the energy and nutrition of juicing. The main reason stated in the movie (and also online at http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/) was stated as "nobody would eat that many vegetables four times a day" - so juice it. This makes sense for fasting to me, because I have had trouble in past fasting eating enough at night to get me through the day. This may be just the ticket. My goal today is to get the juicer back and buy some veggies.

This is a basic "mean green" recipe:

kale leaves - 6

cucumber - 1

celery sticks - 4

green apples - 2

lemon - 1/2

ginger - 1 pc

optional: parsley and/or spinach with less kale

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Now, I have less trouble actually eating these vegetables - and have some kale salad and broccoli already made in the fridge, but I also have 3 weeks to prepare for fasting, and that sounds like a challenge to me.

New Goal: add juicing to current low-carb diet in preparation for fasting next month (August).

Current Goal: drop weight to 195 pre-fast (By July 30th, 2011).